The Yellow Peril

The kitchen of the Chinese is luminous.

"The Yellow Peril" was the 5th episode of the 2nd series of Only Fools And Horses. Del has a contract to do up a Chinese takeaway with Awayday Gold.

Synopsis

Derek "Del Boy" Trotter has clinched a deal with Mr Chin to decorate the kitchen of his Chinese takeaway. He cannot do it today as it is the anniversary of his mums passing and him and Rodney Trotter spend the day at the cemetery.

At the cemetery, the grave of Joan Mavis Trotter says she died 12th March 1964, wife of Reg and mother of Del and Rodney. Del gives a story how his mum had long golden blonde hair sometimes, and sat in the pub in a beaver skin coat with Senior Service fags in one, hand and a rum and pep in the other. Del says on her deathbed Joan told Del to look after Rodney and give him half of everything. Rodney starts to fall asleep on the bench and Del says how the cemetery is quiet and peaceful, away from the crowds, noise and traffic, and Rodney is decorating the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow. Rodney says yes, but then twigs. Del says the owner is in lumber as the health inspector told him to get his kitchen painted. Rodney refuses, saying he is fed up of Del's bribery and emotional blackmail when he wants him to do the dirty work. Rodney still refuses to paint the takeaway. Del offers to lend him his porno mags and Rodney says he will decorate.

The next day, the Trotters arrive at the takeaway. The cat escapes as Rodney opens the door. Del says Mr Chin will not be happy, Rodney asks if it was his pet, and Del says no, but No 39 is off the menu. They arrive in the kitchen, it is caked to the brim in cooking fat. Rodney says it is like an explosion in a dripping factory. Mr Chin arrives, and says he got a call from the health inspector to say his kitchen needs painting, the man never gave his name but used the expression "John". And Del uses that expression. Rodney is trying to get the lid off a tin of paint and Del gives Mr Chin a story about the colour, not knowing himself, and Mr Chin says "blue". Del agrees but Rodney opens the tin and it is yellow and Del says "And then I changed my mind". Mr Chin says the colour is not relevant as long as his kitchen is painted. He then leaves, and Del takes some of the paint with him and tells Rodney and Grandad to water the paint down a bit. He then says to clean the kitchen down first with some Ajax and a sponge in the cupboard. Del then leaves.

A couple of days later, Rodney and Grandad are back at the flat, they have finished the job. Del has been very secretive about what he has been doing the past few days, coming in late. Del arrives, is questioned by Rodney as to where he has been, and Del says he has been doing something private. Del sorts out the earnings of the job, and gives Rodney a deep sea divers watch, which has the time in every capital city in the world apart from London, their city. Trigger arrives with another load of paint for Del, and upon being questioned by Rodney as to where the paint came from, reveals that he and Monkey Harris stole it from a storage shed in Clapham Junction, and the paint is supposed to read a painted sign inside a railway tunnel, since the tunnel would be pitch black. Trigger explains that the paint is luminous much to Del's horror.

Mr. Chin phones complaining about his now very brightly glowing kitchen walls. Del explains that the luminous paint is designed to save money on electricity. With that, Mr Chin asks them to paint his living room too. It suddenly dawns on Del what else he has used the paint for. The Trotters drive to the cemetery and find out where Del had been for the last couple of days. He has been painting his mother's monument with the luminous paint, so in the middle of the night it emits a near radioactive glow. Del says that he will not bow his head to any town hall officials, but shall look them straight in the eye and say "I am the man that's responsible - and I'm proud of it." But after having a double-take at the monument, Del says that he, Rodney, and Grandad will pin the blame on vandals with Del saying "Let's get out of here before we get our collars felt!"

Cast

Main cast

• Derek "Del Boy" Trotter - David Jason
• Rodney Trotter - Nicholas Lyndhurst
• "Grandad" - Lennard Pearce
• Trigger - Roger Lloyd Pack

Guest cast

• Mr Chin - Rex Wei

Blunders

• In the scene in the cemetery, which was about 5 minutes long, the sun moves quite quickly, the start of the scene the sun is shining from the east and by the end it is shining from the west, clearly the scene was filmed over several hours.
• In the scene where Del and Rodney visit their mother's monument, the bench they're sitting on is one step away from the elaborate gravestone, and also directly behind the bench are other gravestones, whereas in "As One Door Closes" at the scene where they and Uncle Albert visit Joan's gravestone while on the run from Denzil and his brothers, the bench is several footsteps away and the ground directly behind the bench is clear, clearly a different cemetery.

Locations seen

• Chinese takeaway (kitchen, counter area, doorway)
• Chinese takeaway exterior
• Cemetery
• The Trotters flat (living room, hallway)
• Road outside cemetery