"The Long Legs Of The Law" was the 1st episode of the 2nd series of Only Fools And Horses. Rodney Trotter starts dating a policewoman, and Derek "Del Boy" Trotter has a lot of hookie gear in his flat, and Rodney invites her round for a nightcap. Oh my God? What will Del do?
Rodney Trotter is hungover. Him and Derek "Del Boy" Trotter went out last night but witnessed a row, in which the police were called, and one of them was a young policewoman whom Rodney was trying to chat up. Del teases Rodney about how he was sniffing round her. Del jokes that the only date Rodney would get with her is 9am at Horseferry Road Magistrates. They then head to Sid's Cafe for a breakfast. While there, Rodney says he was actually successful in asking the female copper on a date. Her name is Sandra. Del is shocked, and a lot of knives and forks fall out of his sleeve. He had been nicking some knives and forks from Sid's cafe.
At the flat, Del is angry at Rodney for besmirching the reputation of Trotters Independent Traders saying their business associates are their boardroom, their factory floor, and these people would not do business with them if they knew one of them was dating a policewoman due to a lot of the gear TITCO sell is stolen or fake. Del says that police officers have to take a vow that they will nick their own mum and dad if they have to. Rodney accuses Del of running his life. He then goes to see Sandra, he is taking her on a date, she is on riot patrol in the morning. After Rodney has gone, Del says that if Rodney says one wrong word, then Del may end up doing 5 years in jail.
Late that night, Del and Grandad are watching TV. Del says he hopes she has not asked Rodney to show his M.O.T. They hear Rodney come into the hallway, and Grandad gets up but quickly warns Del that Sandra is with him in the hallway. Del is horrified. Before Rodney brings Sandra into the flat, Del tries to hide the illegal gear, such as a tyre, and 3 cases of export gin, which is not available in Britain. After hanging up their coats, Rodney and Sandra come into the flat. Del pretends to wipe his jumper on the curtain, so as to put it in front of the 3 cases of export gin. Del then tries to conceal one of the stolen watches, by hiding them down the side of one of the armchairs, but Rodney had given one to Sandra. Sandra does not let on but she actually notices that a lot of the gear in the Trotters flat is actually stolen, she recognises it from police photos.
Del "accidentally" pours gin on Sandra's arm so he can take the watch away and repair it, saying he will return it. Del says he has run out of booze, but Rodney says there are 3 cases behind the curtain. He then realises it is the export gin. Del says Rodney is such a plonker.
An hour or so later, Rodney takes Sandra back to her flat and they embrace, Rodney thinks he is going to be invited into her flat, and Sandra says she has a question for Rodney, Rodney thinks it is something nice, she then asks if anything in their flat is legally theirs? They stop cuddling as Rodney knows she has seen all the stolen gear. She says she recognises the gear from police photos and MI5. Sandra says she knows the watch Rodney gave her is stolen. She says she could end up with the sack if her Commanding Officer saw her wearing a stolen watch. Finally realising that this whole mess is his fault, Rodney claims full responsibility for all of the stolen goods in the flat as his way of protecting Del. Sandra says if she carried out her duties to the full she could take him straight down the station right now but she did enjoy the date. Sandra decides to give them a deal. She says she will give Rodney and Del 24 hours to spring clean their flat or she will come around with the CID. Rodney wants to come into Sandra's flat for a sandwich but she says there is an all night sandwich bar diown the Walworth Road. Rodney then leaves.
At the flat, the Trotters are cleaning out their flat, disposing of the hookie gear. Del is angry at Rodney for getting themselves into this mess in the first place, by dating a policewoman. Rodney asks if he can keep a bottle of after shave in case Sandra comes round a bit early. Del is angry and chases Rodney out of the flat. Rodney runs for it.
- Derek "Del Boy" Trotter - David Jason
- Rodney Trotter - Nicholas Lyndhurst
- "Grandad" - Lennard Pearce
- Sid - Roy Heather
Previous Episode Christmas Crackers (28th December 1981)Edit
Next Episode Ashes To Ashes (28th October 1982)Edit
- The idea for the script was based on John Sullvain's niece, who became a policewoman.
- First appearance of Sid.
- While in Sid's café, after Rodney tells Del that he successfully asked Sandra out, as loads of kitchenware drops out of Del's sleeve, his hand can be seen controlling when the knives are falling out.