"It Never Rains" was the 6th episode of the 2nd series of Only Fools And Horses. The Trotters go on holiday to Spain, but as usual the holiday goes wrong, Grandad gets nicked.
Derek "Del Boy" Trotter and Rodney Trotter are sat in The Nags Head. They are bored. It has been raining non stop for 4 days. Even in this weather, Del wants Rodney to go and sell some Italian sunhats. Del sees Alex, a travel agent who is not doing very well in business, he got hardly any bookings on flights to Spain for the World Cup. Del comes up with an idea, he knocks 80% off a holiday. But only to the very first customer, so everyone will rush in hoping to be the first customer, then he can sell the rest of the holidays anyone books at the normal price. Del takes the drinks back to the table and asks Rodney if he fancies a holiday. Del gets Rodney to go and sell some sunhats, even in the pouring rain. Rodney reluctantly does so. "Genuine Italian sunhats. Made in Roma".
A few hours later, Rodney is sat in the chair next to Grandad back at the flat. He is having a foot bath and is cold. He asks Grandad why Del would send him out to sell stuff in this weather. Del comes in with lots of brochures, and say they are going on holiday to Spain. Grandad says he has been before. Del asks Grandad to cook a Spanish omlette to get them in the mood. Him and Rodney have a quiet word saying if Grandad comes along he will cramp their style, if they take some girls back they may be put off by Grandad asleep with his false teeth in the glass next to him on the bedside table. But Del phones Alex and asks him to put another bed in.
A few days later the Trotters are enjoying their holiday, chatting to girls, dancing, going on the beach. They take 2 girls back to their hotel room to find Grandad asleep in his bed with his false teeth on the bedside table next to him. The 2 girls quickly leave.
A day or so later Del and Rodney are on the beach. Grandad says he is going back to the hotel for a nap. He seems to be in some sort of dismissive mood, as if something is on his mind. Del and Rodney go to a bar and Del chats up a girl who speaks French but as he does, Rodney bursts in, saying Grandad has been arrested.
They search around, ask The British Consulate, and eventually find Grandad at a police prison cell. At the prison cell, Grandad tells a story as to why he may have been arrested. They have not yet charged him with anything. Grandad says in 1936 the Trotters lived at Peabody Buildings, Peckham Rye, they were very poor and him and his friend Nobby Clark hitchhiked to Southampton then hid in a ship as stowaways under the tarpaulin in the lifeboats. The ship docked in Tangier and after trying to join the French Foreign Legion, they then made their way to Spain and became gun runners during The Spanish Civil War. Eventually, they were captured, Nobby was tortured, and the pair were deported back to England.
Del bribes the guard to let Del go. He hands him a wad of notes. The guard says he can go. He has his release papers here, he was going to let him go anyway, Grandad was not arrested for a historic crime, but for jaywalking, almost causing a police car to crash. The Spanish police did not want to upset Anglo Spanish relations. Del is out of pocket and annoyed. Rodney suggests they go to the chemist to get some plasters for Grandad's cuts and bruises. Grandad says he has none. Del says "It's early yet".
- Derek "Del Boy" Trotter - David Jason
- Rodney Trotter - Nicholas Lyndhurst
- "Grandad" - Lennard Pearce
- Alex The Travel Agent - Jim McManus
- Wendy - Uncredited
- Jackie - Jillianne Foot
- French Girl - Anne Bruzac
- Ray - Michael Attwell
- Prison guard - Anthony Jackson
Previous Episode The Yellow Peril (18th November 1982)Edit
Next Episode A Touch Of Glass (2nd December 1982)Edit
- This episode was originally going to be filmed in Spain, but the BBC had to settle for an extremely cold Bournemouth due to the budget running out.
- Grandad mentions the Trotters have never been good sailors, setting the scene for Uncle Albert's escapades.
- The idea for a future episode, Danger UXD (15th January 1989) was inspired during filming of this episode.