Christmas Crackers was the 1981 Christmas episode of Only Fools And Horses, and the last episode of the first series. This ep saw Derek "Del Boy" Trotter and Rodney Trotter go clubbing at Xmas, and Rodney trying to use body language to impress girls, and failing miserably.
It is Christmas Day. Rodney Trotter is bored. He is reading a book called Body Language, a book about how to send dirty messages to women without speaking. Grandad is cooking the Christmas dinner. Derek "Del Boy" Trotter comes in, in the Christmas mood. Rodney says that some of the food he is cooking looks like lumps of anthracite. And there is some green sloshy stuff. Del says that he sits in that armchair all year round watching the TV's but whirs into action at Xmas. Grandad comes in to say he has just strained the gravy then he will get it up.
An hour or so later they are sat at the dinner table. The gravy is very lumpy and they need to put a plug on the electric meat cutter. The conversation turns to giblets and Grandad says he does not know they took the giblets out, he has left them in the turkey. Del looks in the turkey and says it is like Irish night at a Delicatessen. Grandad bemoans that he did not know the giblets were in there. Del comforts him but wipes his hands on Grandad's mucky scarf. Grandad goes to get the pudding but it is burnt.
Several hours later, that night. Rodney is bored, Del is asleep in the armchair. Rodney suggests they go out but Del says they should not leave Grandad sat in the flat alone on Christmas night. Rodney wants to go up West but Del says Christmas is meant to be boring, it is a religious festival and they are not going out. As they argue, Grandad comes in from the outside hallway to say he is off out to a Christmas party. Del and Rodney then decide to go out themselves. Del says he is going to have a bath and get ready and for Rodney, already dressed in his suit, to sit back and watch The Circus.
They go to the Monte Carlo club in New Cross. Del meets an old mate, Earl. His old man is in hospital. Del suggests the doctors give him some antibiotics. He writes the word down on a beer mat. Rodney says the doctors are not idiots, they would already have thought of that. Del says Earl has had a lot of stress recently and wants to give him some hope for Xmas and the New Year.
Later that night, Rodney spots two attractive woman sitting at a table on the other side of the bar. Intending to go over and chat the pair up, he prepares himself by reading from Mickey Pearce's body language book. He attempts a 'masculine walk' to impress the girls. Del shouts across to him "Oi Soppy. Come here". Del teases Rodney about the walk after Rodney says it is to do with body language. Del has an idea, he wants Rodney to leave the club, and then wait a few minutes then tell the barman that a Rolls Royce Corniche is blocking a 3 wheel van. This means the barman will come on the tannoy and ask "Can the owner of the Rolls Roys Corniche kindly move it as it is obstructing some saps 3 wheel van". Del says he will then get his keys out, jangling them, and let the girls think he drives a Rolls Royce Corniche. Rodney says but the girls will think he drives a 3 wheel van. Del says that Rodney will come back into the club afterwards with him so the girls will think they are together. Rodney says they will have to pay to get back in.
As Del is about to go over an engage them in conversation, the girls get up and start dancing with 2 other fellas. Del wants to sit down so walks up to 2 other girls sat at a table. He asks if they were thinking of going home yet as it is getting late. This makes the girls think Del is going to take them home but as they get up Del says him and Rodney can have their seats. Rodney then walks away, embarrassed.
- Derek "Del Boy" Trotter - David Jason
- Rodney Trotter - Nicholas Lyndhurst
- "Grandad" - Lennard Pearce
Previous Episode The Russians Are Coming (13th October 1981)Edit
Next Episode The Long Legs Of the Law (21st October 1982)Edit
- This was the sole episode of Only Fools and Horses between 1981 and 1987 to not be produced by Ray Butt, who after the first series of the show, was reassigned to Seconds Out by the BBC. The initial plan was for Martin Shardlow, who directed the first series, to also take on the producer's role for both this special and the second series. However, Shardlow and John Sullivan could not agree on a future direction for the show, which eventually resulted in Shardlow deciding not to take on the producer's role and leaving Only Fools and Horses altogether. With this special in danger of not being filmed in time for Christmas 1981, Butt arranged for his close friend and fellow BBC producer Bernard Thompson to produce and direct the episode, and Butt would subsequently return as producer (and this time director) for the second series.